


ALLISON'S OBSESSION

by lila_luscious1



Series: IT's ALL IN HOW YOU WORK IT [1]
Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Allison Knight DEMANDS that CONDOMS be used, And if no condoms-ANAL SEX, Da Butt-EU-song reference, Does Allison PREFER ANAL? Some Women DO, Doin' It Good-LL Cool J-song reference, Jeller sneaking off to screw, New Edition-Jealous Girl-Song Reference, Obsessed-Mariah Carey-song reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:16:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/pseuds/lila_luscious1
Summary: Allsion Knight is strangely obsessed with the HOW, WHENand WHERE of Kurt Weller and Jane (Doe) Weller's sexual'doings', specifically that they use condoms to avoid PREGNANCYfor some reason (??). She's enlisted Zapata and Patterson in herlil bit creepy fascination with this aspect of their sex lifeIMPORTANT NOTE: I 'borrowed' this concept from the wonderful BellaKatrina,including potty-mouth Allison K...I hope that it's alright
Series: IT's ALL IN HOW YOU WORK IT [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546786
Comments: 27
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BellaKatrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellaKatrina/gifts), [Bacner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/gifts), [4QuietRyt3r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/4QuietRyt3r/gifts), [blindsmarcy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindsmarcy/gifts), [Crazygremlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazygremlin/gifts), [CourtneyMichelleLover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtneyMichelleLover/gifts), [AshleTorres318](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshleTorres318/gifts).

> Group text between Allison Knight ALSPTM, Tasha Zapata  
(TZ007Z), Patterson (Patty_cake145)
> 
> Plenty of adult language and references to sex, including oral,  
anal, and vaginal
> 
> ALSPTM: ALLISON KNIGHT  
K0W-NYO2: KURT WELLER  
JDWelron1: JANE D WELLER  
TZ007Z: TASHA ZAPATA  
Patty_cake145: PATTERSON

1004 PM-SATURDAY NIGHT

TZ007Z: Als...they're at the Ritz Carlton

ALSPTM: Whaaaaat?!

Patty_cake145: Yeh! They'll be doin' it, doin' it, doin' it good!

ALSPTM: C-O-N-D-O-M-S, DAMMIT!

TZ007Z: Ahhhh...not 2 be an ass, Als, butt...

Patty_cake145: U GOTS 👶👶, less than a year apart...

TZ007Z: sooo...should U be the one screaming about rubbers...just sayin

ALSPTM: i take your bullshit point...and i say fuck ya both

TZ007Z: now, that's not polite...ER is bare-backing tho-An IT WON'T STOP!

Patty_cake145: PUTA!

TZ007Z: sez tha bitch sucking two dicks at once

ALSPTM: 😁 POW! she put yo ass in check!

TZ007Z: BAAARRRE-BAAACKIN! Edgar Reade bringing the PAIN!

ALSPTM: THAT'S JUST FUCKIN CRAZY!

Patty_cake145: and what's YOUR solution, als

TZ007Z: U know what it is!: doin it the butt...SEXY SEXY!...

ALSPTM: (sigh) there's my jam!

Patty_cake145: ain't nothin WRONG...when ya do it in the butt ALLNITELONG! owww!

TZ007Z: ?? OH, GODDAMN! how tha hell YOU kno about that song, pats??!

Patty_cake145: I know about tha Brothas...is it brovas or brothas?

ALSPTM: clueless...anyway...back to Jeller

Patty_cake145: THERE'S A JEALOUS GIIIRL...in our town...

ALSPTM: NOT JEALOUS!! and fuck ya'll

TZ007Z: either

Patty_cake145: huh

TZ007Z: both are acceptable-brovas or brothas

ALSPTM: focus, goddamn it! Weller and Jane!

TZ007Z: why you so obsessed with me, boy i wanna kno

ALSPTM: I'M...SIMPLY...LOOKING OUT...FOR HIM...BITCH

TZ007Z: Ahhhh...I gotta GUN...in case you 4got in your obsession with KW's dick

ALSPTM: OH SHIT!! I DON'T!!? Whatever THE FUCK will I DOOO?!

Patty_cake145: GUNS DOWN LADIES! ALS...focus on CONOR'S dick-how 'bout that

TZ007Z: THAT'S what's up

Patty_cake145: just sayin...kinda creepy this focus on who Weller's fuckin...AND HOW

ALSPTM: YOU FUCKING...we have a CHILD 2gether...it's natural

TZ007Z: natural...OK

Patty_cake145: she MAD, Tash..everyone CHILL...table this and back in ten

TZ007Z: copy

ALSPTM: copy

1122

ALSPTM: butt sex

TZ007Z: ahhhhhh???! WHAAAAT?

Patty_cake145: ???? also OUCHIIIE!

ALSPTM: 2 prevent 👶, DS...someone text weller and tell him

TZ007Z: 1 of US...shld txt KURT WELLER...+ suggest that he fuck Jane in her ass???  
Are you fucking DRUNK?! 

Patty_cake145: AND U SHOULD NOT BE: 🤱!!!

ALSPTM: i'm dead serious

TZ007Z, Patty_cake145: NOT IT!!

ALSPTM: i'll take the case! 

TZ007Z: ALLISON KNIGHT...for reals...DON'T

Patty_cake145: i second that emotion

ALSPTM: too late...did it

TZ007Z: ☹💨

Patty_cake145: ☹💨


	2. MIND YOUR F!#@⛈⛈@ BIZNESS, ALLIE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison Knight texts Kurt and gets shut down HARD!  
She gets little sympathy from Tasha and Patterson
> 
> ALSPTM: ALLISON KNIGHT  
K0W-NYO2: KURT WELLER  
JDWelron1: JANE D WELLER  
TZ007Z: TASHA ZAPATA  
Patty_cake145: PATTERSON  
BriBri1987-Brianna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤰=PREGNANT WOMAN

Both parties are thoroughly sated after a quite long bout of animated and VERY energetic  
bed-romping, as two fit, healthy, highly-sexed adults should be...Weller finally responds to the  
beeping noise signalling a text..."Who, 'dat?", asks Jane, still catching her breath. "Of of your 'HOS''?

Kurt shoots back, "If ONLY I had multiple 'HOS'...I wish I was fucking every female in New York, as some  
seem to believe...it's ALLISON...DOZENS of texts about..._CONDOMS??? _!?? NO WAY!  
"Lemme see!," Jane insists.

ALSPTM: U BETTER HAVE A 50 CT BX of RUBBERS WITH U, JACKASS!!

ALSPTM: I'M NOT FUCKING WITH U!

ALSPTM: IF U GET JANE 🤰!!!

ALSPTM: C-O-N-D-O-M-S, DAMMIT!

K0W-NYO2: Mind your F!#@⛈⛈@ BIZNESS, Allie

JDWelron1: JACK OFF, or somethin!🛑🍆blockin!

ALSPTM: i'm looking out for u two

K0W-NYO2: lookout for CONOR, and where he puts HIS 🍆...my shit is COVERED!

JDWelron1: HA! in "P"juice!!

ALSPTM: U NASTY FUCKS! I hope U do get preggers!

ALSPTM: 4 thaloveofgod...BUTT SEX!!

ALSPTM: Weller! Jane!! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!

GROUP TEXT, 1 HR LATER:

ALSPTM: GUYS! Fucking WELLER shut me down about the condom issue!! Bastard!

TZ007Z: 🤨😲!!! For REALS!!? The NERVE!!

Patty_cake145: Who the FUCK does he think he is...telling your nosy ass to fuck off about his personalbiz!!

ALSPTM: i've said it once, and i'll say it again (probably MANY TIMES): FUCK YA BOTH!

TZ007Z: KW-ALLUPININIT! 

Patty_cake145: good for him

TZ007Z: meanwhile...back @ tha ranch...ER is gearing up for rd FO!

ALSPTM: Whaaaaat?!

Patty_cake145: GIT 'IM, GURL!! BBC, ooohgurlyuNAAAASTY!!

TZ007Z: U KNOW WHAT IT IS! 

Patty_cake145: I DOES, INDEED!

TZ007Z: like i said...reade is just about 'there'...i need ta 💨in a minute

Patty_cake145: getsum!

ALSPTM: 4 god's sake...wrap it up!

TZ007Z: ahhh...how 'bout NO!! we 'allergic' to latex

ALSPTM: tha BUTT, TZ...for REAL if not condoms...THA ASS!!!

TZ007Z: that too!

Patty_cake145: she just 😤bc she gotta wait SIX MO WEEKS

TZ007Z: i couldn't do it...not with this 🍆🍆🍆 i got here...yeah...it's THAT LONG!!

ALSPTM: o u bitch

TZ007Z: adiosito! byyyyyeeee!

Patty_cake145: jump on it...les do it...right it, my pony!  
pattycake OUT...stuart's 🍆 here! HA HA!

ALSPTM: i'm surrounded by BITCHES, SLUTS, and HOS!!! GODDAMN IT!  
ALSPTM: tha BUTT, patty! ALSPTM: tasha...TASH!  
ALSPTM: pats...  
ALSPTM: PATTY!  
ALSPTM: fuckyallfuckyallfuckyallfuckyallfuckyallfuckyallfuckyallfuckyallfuckyall  
fuckyallfuckyallfuckyall!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONGS  
READMAN + METHODMAN: BBC, OooogurlyuNAAAASTY!!


	3. I'M THROUGH WITH ALLA U!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And on, and on, and on...yaknowwhatITIS!
> 
> Somewhat explicit sex, and DEFINITE 'bad' words.
> 
> ALSPTM: ALLISON KNIGHT  
K0W-NYO2: KURT WELLER  
JDWelron1: JANE D WELLER  
TZ007Z: TASHA ZAPATA  
Patty_cake145: PATTERSON  
DIREDny: Edgar Reade
> 
> gingersnaps: Roman Briggs

Natasha Zapata, driving home from a specilaty pet store, with Marco in the back seat of hers and  
Edgar Reade's jointly-owned SUV; Reade texts her, and she pulls over.

TZ007Z: What up, Guapo?

DIREDny: Where ya at?

TZ007Z: 20 mins out...🛑'ng 4 🍦...tu quieres? (ya want?)

DIREDny: french vanilla-be careful, Ma (🤰)

TZ007Z:🤐...shhhhh! no one KNOWS! ya kno what snitches DON'T GET?

DIREDny: enlighten me

TZ007Z: pussaaaaaaaaaaaay!

DIREDny: ya NASTY! hurry up

TZ007Z: 💋

At home, about 2200hrs (10pm), Tasha's iPhone plays "Amor A La Mexicana", her ringtone for texts.

"Again with the fucking texts? I'm going to the gym, and when I get back..."

"I KNOW, I KNOW: 'thighs HIGH, grip your hips and move."

"KEEE-rect!"

Patty_cake134: wha'cha doin' 😽woman?

TZ007Z: nuttin, honey...2300hrs, tho: .allsSKEETSKEET...

ALSPTM: 'sup, y'all 

BriBri1987: THIS country-bitch:🙄

ALSPTM: tha FUCK!!!?

TZ007Z: BriBri comin' in HOT!! heeeey!

ALSPTM: ooooo...ya'll wanna throw MUD!?

BriBri1987: i'm FUCKING wuth U, chik...also I feel GUD!!!

Patty_cake134: spill, bae-TEA on the FLO'

BriBri1987: gingersnaps just left

ALSPTM: who KNEW? BriBri + 🍆

BriBri1987: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!!

TZ007Z: u ok, Als? your way behind in your inapporiate comment count

ALSPTM: I am NOT defined by curse words, nor the quality of said vulgarities

Patty_cake134, TZ007Z: okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

TZ007Z: i'm jettin chiks...my man back from the gym. THGYHAM

Patty_cake134, ALSPTM: whawhawhawhaWHA???!

TZ007Z: thighs HIGH, grip your hips and move.

BriBri1987: I LIKE IT!! Tom Browne-funkin for jamaica

TZ0007Z: just so

ALSPTM: ya got time while he showers

TZ007Z: NEGATIVO: man sweat, bay-bay

Patty_cake134: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

BriBri1987: hmmmmm...man sweat...

ALMSPTM, Patty_cake134: not you TOO, Bri(?)

BriBri1987: might could

TZ007Z: zapata OUT

BriBri1987: me two...GS takes it OUT of a bitch

Patty_cake1987: don't do that! don't copy off of Allie!

ALSPTM: BAD role model, me-potty mouth chik out

Patty_cake1987: night

On her hands and knees, while Reade's strong thighs rebound off of her big firm buttocks, Tasha can't decide which she enjoys more: the feel  
of his hardness sliding deep inside of her, filling her up? Or his really very hard to compare oral skills? What she does know is that the FBI  
Assistant Director is the best lover she's ever had. Oral is great, but the way this man seems to grow HARDER and THICKER inside her, even  
after 30 minutes or more of activity-THAT'S what's up! Even after coming, he's still very close to hard...she gasps as he spanks her firmly, but  
not in a BDSM-way, on her left butt-cheek: she can feel it ripple, and the vibrations from that light 'pop' reverberate all the way to her clit.

Incredible jolts of pure pleasure ricochet through her, taking her higher and higher towards a peak. Her eyes tightly closed, as Edgar's furiously  
pumping cock is ceasless...then he stiffens, and his movements briefly become 'jerky'; that doesn't stop him from driving her up and over the  
edge: and they both explode in a torrent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (🤰) pregnant woman
> 
> (🤐) keep quiet/don't tell
> 
> 🐶 is their dog (MARCO-from We're Having A Baby')
> 
> Amor A La Mexicana-Thalia


	4. I'M OUT!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison Knight declares that she's officially OUT of the Jane and Kurt  
situation...ummmm...the other Ladies of lawgirlchat aren't quite buying it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😫=tired  
💋=speak(ing)

0620, WEDNESDAY on lawgirlchat (group chat)

ALSPTM: ok, everyone-i'm out-officially OUT of the weller and weller sit

TZ007Z: ahhhhhhhdon't believe it

Patty_cake145: nor I

BriBri1987: i have DOUBTS-BIG 1s

ALSPTM: 2 soon, BriBri-ur still on probation in the lawgirlchat

TZ007Z: but she not wrong

Patty_134: nope

ALSPTM: lez talk about seks

Patty_cake134: all the good things and the bad things that may be?

TZ007Z: seks 👶

BriBri1987: NOT pervin'

ALSPTM: 💋 of: tha durty deets-NOW-on the sitrep w/gingersnaps

BriBri1987: dadadadaDAH-I'M LUVIN IT!!

BriBri1987: somethinsomethinsomethinsomethin just ain't RIGHT tho

TZ007Z: BriBri-'SPLAIN!

BriBri1987: i think he's creepin'

ALSPTM: fuckr! proof?

BriBri1987: GUT feeling

TZ007Z: TRUST IT...PATS? U go DARK?

Patty_cake134: still here.

Richirichrich: 'SUP! same sitrep with boston-he cheatin

ALSPTM: wtf!!? how'd u get into lawgirlchat

Richirichrich: i'm a PRETTY GIRL too

BriBri1987: u could get sum if not for tha...ya kno

Richirichrich: the mostly GAY but kinda BI 'ya kno'?

BriBri1987: lil bit

TZ007Z: PATTY! TAG IN!

Patty_cake134: on??

TZ007Z: Ginger Man-cheating?

Patty_cake134: need more info

TZ007Z: u 👍, Blondie?

Richirichrich: seems off

Patty_cake134: 😫

ALSPTM: and *I* haven't mentioned the Wellers since the satrt of the chat

TZ007Z: 🎉🎉🎉🎉

ALSPTM: ya AIN'T 😁-ya BASIC

Richirichrich: Als tryna go ghet-TO

BriBri1987: what about gingersnaps

Richirichrich: observe and report

TZ007Z: are we going to the ofc?

Richirichrich: O SNAP! richdotcom out

TZ007Z, BriBri1987: me 2

Patty_cake134: I HERE already

ALSPTM: time fo' my nap-pottymouth out


	5. STICKWITU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheesecake to calm Tasha Zapata's pregnancy cravings, and another early AM  
lawgirl chat session (full of obscenities and uncouth innuendos.
> 
> EXPLICIT SEX ALERT

[Nobody gonna love me better  
I must stick with you forever  
Nobody gonna take me higher  
I must stick with you  
You know how to appreciate me  
I must stick with you, my baby  
Nobody ever made me feel this way  
I must stick with you]

The HD stereo has the romantic hit sung by the group PussyCat Dolls playing at medium volume:  
Edgar Reade having not arrived yet, Tasha has a bottle of pure grape juice while waiting for him  
(normally, a bottle of beer or glass of wine would be her choice of beverage); with her CONDITION  
(👶 on board), that's OUT for the near future (LONGER if they decide to expand their family.) It's  
2006hrs...she decides to text him...

TZ007Z: AD

DIREDny: Stopped for cheese🧀cake

TZ007Z: yummyyumYUM! whattaMAN! my🤴!!

DIREDny: yo 🤴is 10mins out..u good w/yummy cheese🧀cake

or do u have another request

TZ007Z: Only U here safely in no more than🔟, L♥VR

He walks through the condo door at 2018hrs, a box from "GOTHAM'S BEST CHEESCAKE" in hand.

"My BOYFRIND'S BACK-yay-HEY!", Tasha cries, trotting in and jumping into his arms, as soon as the  
the GOTHAM'S BEST rests safely atop the kitchen table. After a flurry of kisses, he sets her back down on her  
feet. "You really want that cheesecake, huh?"

"I want YOU," she responds, her voice low and sultry, her faint Spanish accent creeping through. "I missed you."  
C'mon." She leads him into their bedroom-the succulent dessert can WAIT...

[Nobody gonna love me better  
I must stick with you forever  
Nobody gonna take me higher  
I must stick with you  
You know how to appreciate me  
I must stick with you, my baby  
Nobody ever made me feel this way  
I must stick with you]

0715, the following morning: lawgirlchat:

ALSPTM: Tasha?!

Patty_cake145: she's not online

BriBri1987:doin the DURTwitREADE?

Patty_cake145: pro'lly

Richirichrich: call off the search teams-I'M HERE!

Patty_cake134: thur he be!

Richirichrich: HELLO, beautifuls...and ALS

ALSPTM: u should NO by now...it's NEVR 2 EARLY 4 a FUCK U, RRR

Richirichrich: i call your fuck u, and raise u a foul-mouthed BITCH

Patty_cake134: richirich delivers a hard shot to tha body-tha FMB is 🥴

BriBri1987: that HAD to sting! maybe even knocked that SNATCHER loose

ALSPTM: what is this SNATCHER you speak of?

BriBri1987: CRUMB snatcher...with yur history, i would think there'd be ONE BROTHER in there

Richirichrich: ya think?

Patty_cake1987: wont be long now, Als

ALSPTM: yes'm:-i'll be dumping out in the next 2-3 days

BriBri1987: DUMPING OUT...really? REALLY!!?

Richirichrich: i read somewhere that THAT happens a LOT during childbirth

Patty_cake1987: POO on that! btw, AK-u've been holding back about JnK, and I commend u.

ALSPTM: what about the POOING

Patty_cake134: u need some help, allison knight...lots and lots of help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STICKWITU-PUSSYCAT DOLLS

**Author's Note:**

> Doin' It Good-LL Cool J  
Da Butt-E. U.  
Obsessed-Mariah Carey


End file.
